After hearing his father speak for months now on the importance of passing Proposition 8 and electing John McCain our next president, my son recently was surprised to discover that our neighbor was voting for Barack Obama. So surprised in fact that he felt it necessary to engage the neighbor in debate. “Don’t you realize that Obama wants to kill babies?” he asked. To which our startled neighbor, after composing himself replied, “He does not want to kill babies, he simply wants women to have a choice”.
Needless to say, our neighbors’ explanation was lost on my 7 year-old son. He knows that babies come from a mommy’s tummy but does not understand how a mother’s choice could possibly come into play. Once this political exchange with the neighbor had taken place I felt an obligation to further explain some things to both of my sons. I felt that they might be confused as to why their best friends dad had such a different viewpoint on the election as their own father.
This would be a “teachable moment”, I thought, if only I could handle it correctly and speak to them on their level and give them the right perspective. I thought about it some as I sat in our family room looking out at our backyard. After a while it hit me and I decided to speak to them separately, as I have discovered that one-on-one works better with 7 & 8 year-olds.
Both conversations were pretty much the same and went like this:
I asked Dylan to stand in front of the sliding glass door that opens out into our back yard.
I asked him to tell me, with out moving, everything he could see from right where he was. He proceeded to tell me a long list of items that our backyard contains:
Our pool & spa, the pool fence, the palm trees, the patio cover, tables, chairs, plants, our Siberian husky named “Aurora” and a variety of many other items made the list. I then held to his eye a cardboard tube from a used roll of paper towel and asked him to close his other eye and list what he saw when he looked at the backyard through the tube.
This second list was noticeably shorter than the first, as his perspective had radically changed. Things he knew to be present in our backyard, like our dog, were not visible at all through the narrow view of the tube. I explained to him that my view of Obama and abortion was was different from our neighbor because, as he had just experienced, the neighbor and I had different perspectives regarding the subject.
Our neighbor could see the need for the women (the mother of the baby) to make her own decisions regarding her own life. He could see the expense of food and clothing and the inconvenience of having another child (to say nothing of the cost and mess associated with diapers). What our neighbor could not see, in his narrow view, I explained, was that there was the life of another human being, being thrown away, like yesterday’s garbage. He could not see the smile of a young child experiencing their first time swimming in a pool or on a swing set or bike ride. He could not see the couple, down the street or across town, which is desperately waiting for their dreams of adoption to come true. He could not see our God in heaven displeased with the abuse and destruction of His creation.
I encouraged both the boys to always seek to see the other people’s perspectives as well. I told them that we could often learn a lot from others and their life journey and that interactions and discussions with people that do not agree on issues can still be a very positive experience. That we need to find ways to remain respectful of those that think differently than us, even when the issues can be about ugly things. Such interaction stretches us and grows our perspective. I also encouraged them to always, in all things, above all seek and find the truth. I pray that my sons both understood and can apply what I was trying to teach them. I pray that I can apply it as well. I remain His. I remain ALL IN.
Needless to say, our neighbors’ explanation was lost on my 7 year-old son. He knows that babies come from a mommy’s tummy but does not understand how a mother’s choice could possibly come into play. Once this political exchange with the neighbor had taken place I felt an obligation to further explain some things to both of my sons. I felt that they might be confused as to why their best friends dad had such a different viewpoint on the election as their own father.
This would be a “teachable moment”, I thought, if only I could handle it correctly and speak to them on their level and give them the right perspective. I thought about it some as I sat in our family room looking out at our backyard. After a while it hit me and I decided to speak to them separately, as I have discovered that one-on-one works better with 7 & 8 year-olds.
Both conversations were pretty much the same and went like this:
I asked Dylan to stand in front of the sliding glass door that opens out into our back yard.
I asked him to tell me, with out moving, everything he could see from right where he was. He proceeded to tell me a long list of items that our backyard contains:
Our pool & spa, the pool fence, the palm trees, the patio cover, tables, chairs, plants, our Siberian husky named “Aurora” and a variety of many other items made the list. I then held to his eye a cardboard tube from a used roll of paper towel and asked him to close his other eye and list what he saw when he looked at the backyard through the tube.
This second list was noticeably shorter than the first, as his perspective had radically changed. Things he knew to be present in our backyard, like our dog, were not visible at all through the narrow view of the tube. I explained to him that my view of Obama and abortion was was different from our neighbor because, as he had just experienced, the neighbor and I had different perspectives regarding the subject.
Our neighbor could see the need for the women (the mother of the baby) to make her own decisions regarding her own life. He could see the expense of food and clothing and the inconvenience of having another child (to say nothing of the cost and mess associated with diapers). What our neighbor could not see, in his narrow view, I explained, was that there was the life of another human being, being thrown away, like yesterday’s garbage. He could not see the smile of a young child experiencing their first time swimming in a pool or on a swing set or bike ride. He could not see the couple, down the street or across town, which is desperately waiting for their dreams of adoption to come true. He could not see our God in heaven displeased with the abuse and destruction of His creation.
I encouraged both the boys to always seek to see the other people’s perspectives as well. I told them that we could often learn a lot from others and their life journey and that interactions and discussions with people that do not agree on issues can still be a very positive experience. That we need to find ways to remain respectful of those that think differently than us, even when the issues can be about ugly things. Such interaction stretches us and grows our perspective. I also encouraged them to always, in all things, above all seek and find the truth. I pray that my sons both understood and can apply what I was trying to teach them. I pray that I can apply it as well. I remain His. I remain ALL IN.
